And the Doctor Says.....

Got your attention, didn't I! :) No, the doctor has nothing new for me but there are just some days and events that have to get mentioned - even on a silly blog.

Had my first dentist appointment yesterday bright and early. That's the first in a gazillion appointments made, but it's a great step. This doctor was not the same one I saw Tuesday, but equally as great a guy. Since I was one of the first patients, he told me he hoped he would do good work since he'd only had a double shot of espresso in his one Caribou coffee, instead of TWO COFFEES each with a double shot of espresso in them! OK, this doc has me won over also. Caribou is awesome coffee, and espresso? THAT is a treat I rarely give myself, but I could relate to him having fun.

After this, I grabbed the two Gray grandkids and got Dylan to the eye doctor before school AND before we don't take his insurance any longer. OK, those of you who know me, know Raegan and Dylan are talkers, movers, shakers, questioners, etc.... These children suffer from NO social anxieties whatsoever. Questions, questions, questions... Raegan was pulling every piece of advertising and cards out of their holders so she could show her friends. She was as involved in Dylan's eye exam as he was. (sorry, my dear co-workers) Dylan could not believe that his eyes actually PLUGGED into his brain - and he adored the 3-D eyeball. I don't know if Dr. Brightman had a chance to really talk but he did mention that the kids were certainly not shy kiddos. No, they're not shy by a long shot. They certainly don't get it from their mother, do they! :)

After dropping off Dylan and Raegan back at day-care, I had a miss call from the hub. Oh, my, he never calls so what's wrong. Called him back and you got it! More car problems! He was driving my Ford and as he stopped at the first stop sign past our house, the break lines broke! He just wanted to tell me that he had nursed it over to Metzger's and they had it fixed already, for a pretty little price. So after picking him up from downtown, going to pay for the car repair, and driving home to do some figuring of (lack of) money... mr. anxiety came to visit me. I had plans for the afternoon! I didn't want any part of this and I had to shake it off....

After coming out of the basement working on the checkbook, the sun was back out and in that instant I decided to keep going with the plans. So off I go to our oldest daughter's house to play with them for the afternoon. Yep, 3 kiddos in an underground pool was just what the doctor ordered. I have to say, her two oldest kids do not suffer from social anxiety either! Abby was adorable and needed to let me know everything about her life - and I couldn't be prouder. She pays attention to detail (that will pay off in her life), she is proud of the work she does and adores showing it off. DANG! This girl has got some of her great-grandma Smith's perfectionism in her! Hunter was a hoot and boy did I LOVE throwing that kid as hard as I could in the pool. I even got a couple honest hugs out of the kid. That's not easy when you're a 6 year old boy. But I treasure it. Little Beau cracked me up - at 16 months the kid is swimming his heart out. And to see him push his boundaries - priceless. On many levels.

So overall, the day was great - my grandkids are strong, personable, and totally delightful children. I did miss having girl talk time with my daughter, but some time that will happen and when the time is right. Yes, after all that action I was totally pooped. I didn't follow through with my evening plans to watch Bill play with "Cowboy Cut" and open for Mark Wills...... but my man understands me and let me off the hook.

Social Anxiety? Nope, no longer an issue in this family - NONE of us!

Car problems? Yeah, guess it's becoming a habit. HA

When I say Sister, You Say....?

My thought process in analyzing the word "SISTER".

Those of you who are a sister, or have a sister can relate I'm sure. But while I was getting ready for work this morning, I pondered the word and its powerful meaning. Do you ever give it any thought? There are so many meanings and connotations to the word. Some observations I have made is that I have many sisters, of many types! Here goes.....

I have a sister, who is a sister-sister. You ask, "WHAT?" OK, the eldest (sorry Carole) sister has led a life of inspiration, love, motherhood, being a grandmother, a missionary and has now entered another chapter of her life being a Catholic nun. So not only is she my sister in the true sense of the word, but my Sister-Sister. Anyone else have that in their vocabulary?

Then I have a sister, who is my sis. My sis and I have become like peanut butter and jelly after a childhood of being opposing magnets. Because of this relationship flipping (kind of like a house) there comes a more endearing name - Sis. There is so much to talk about that taking the time to say a two syllable word 'sister' takes too long - there is so much else to say!!

Then there is the sista. These are my in-laws, a group of women that are not only family, but my friends who I love. There has to be some teasing involved knowing my in-laws, so they deserve the name sista because they are fun gals who enjoy MUCH "laughta". HA!!!

Then you have what you'd call a 'soul sister'.... I have one, but she has three sister names in my life. Not only is she my soul sister, she is my sister-from-another-mother (or sista-from-anutha-mutha) and my sister in Christ. As the kids would say, she is my BFFL. These sisters not only share your life, but they share something even deeper within you, and actually GET you.

Aren't we blessed to have sisters? To be sisters? To know sisters?

So when I say sister, you say......?

Addition to "Toothless Wonder"

OK, so I have yet another queer day at work and leave early to visit the 'new dentist'. So I pick this place because of the TV ads and their advertising skills. Let me tell you, it worked and these PEOPLE work. They do not lie.

Of course, me being me, I joke with the first gal that had to deal with me. My age gives me that benefit. But this gal saw right through me. Fear. Anxiety. Laughter was good, but it didn't calm my blood pressure, which she proceeded to take and it was high. OK, time to get real. After a gazillion x-rays (and let me tell you these were WAY cool, especially with a small mouth that gave her fits) and then sitting me down in the chair with a TV in front of me and .... wait... what's that thing she handed me? Why, it's a remote control!! Does this thing work on a TV? Anyway, the doc finally comes in... he's young, he's Indian, great last name, instantly felt at ease. Of course, what do I say? Yes, the first thing out of my mouth is, "Are you going to be nice to me?" He laughed and proceeded to say, "Heck, NO!" I was sold. Totally sold on the man. I hate dentists, the scars left from childhood were understood.

After he took a full 'pick' he sat back and told me what all had to be done. I knew it was bad. The tears started flowing, silently. Behind me comes Kleenex from the tech - she understood me and my anxiety. These people are going to give me my smile back. The entire crew, won me over. How could I not trust them. Each one saw my heart and didn't make fun of me or belittle me as others have done.

Alright, so then I get in the 'finance' office. Now that's scary stuff. I was thinking a certain number, and then she did this and that and with insurance in there, shot me a price. Don't think my heart didn't fly down to the floor. How would I ever swing this one? I owe everyone in the world, paying people little by little (and I mean little), swallowing pride almost every step of every day. But this woman looked me square in the eye and said, "We're going to work this out so you get your smile back." Now don't get me wrong, I still smile. But it's fairly guarded. She said we'll try for credit here and here, and if that doesn't work, we'll go here. I stopped her in her tracks and said.... "Sweetheart, it isn't going to fly. We've lost it all. We're up to our ears in debt. It won't work." Do you know what she did? She smiled at me and said - DON'T WORRY! Don't worry? What? After getting denied by two loan places (duh, called that one) she pulled a deal out of her hat that said "affordable" to me. What? Me? It's going to happen?

I have to be honest. This place makes me WANT to go back. The stuff that goes on in the exam rooms is still going to be there, but the people are really what made the difference to me here. They are real, compassionate, people oriented folk.

And once my new car, oops, I meant my new MOUTH is paid off the doc actually gave me hope of having straight and white front teeth! Now there's a salesman if I ever saw one. :) But they gave me hope, they showed me light and that little bit of a boost in self esteem I needed.

Grateful? You bet.

Priceless? No, the checkbook shows it's not. LOL

I'm a Toothless Wonder

Yesterday was something else from the moment I woke up till I went to bed! Are you ready for THIS story? HA HA

Woke up nauseous and weak but went in to work anyway. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? It could go away, I could get better.... needed to buck up and get where I needed to be. So about an hour into it, had to let my boss know there just wasn't any way I could do it. At least a couple of hours off to stop being so..... well, you know, urpy. So I go home, could not warm up, actually had BLANKETS on in 90+ weather. But by dinnertime, honestly felt a ton better so Bill proceeded to make us pork chops.

So while my chef was sizzling those chops, I get an email from the publisher of the knitting pattern book that is going to go to press this fall.... with a PDF file of what my 2 pages of fame will look like! Felt like a little kid and had to text my daughter and sister to take a sneak peak. It's absolutely the BEST photography of my pattern and product and it's just the shot in the arm I needed. This has been in the works for nearly 2 years and to see it come to pass is just astounding! And of course I had to show my dear hubby what the spreads looked like - I think he's proud of his wife.

So dinner is ready, I go to take my first bite of a delicious pork chop, and WHAM! There goes the reconstruction done on my front tooth from 15 years ago - gone! So after a moment of "oh, my goodness, I'm in customer service and this is going to suck" mode, it felt better to just laugh through it, take care of it, and not give it another thought. Didn't even tell Bill until I had the dentist appointment made and my boss called to see if I could keep the appointment I just made. I love my boss. Just had to be truthful and tell her that I wasn't comfortable seeing patients looking like a jack-o-lantern and I think something should be done about it - like ASAP.

So anyway, Monday was not a typical Monday at all. It was just a great day to see that people actually care about me, that laughter IS the best medicine, and my old moto still stands: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

Yep, I'm a toothless wonder today, BUT I'm going to be published!!!!!!!!!

Life is good.

Disturbia

There isn't enough time this morning to write my concerns and thoughts about the depression I woke up with this morning. There are times when the dreams aren't dreams; nightmares on occasion still pop up, and my sitting down at the computer too early - so my title this morning.

This will just have to serve as a reminder that no matter what type of sleep we have, what type of dreams happen, whatever is happening in our family or circle of friends, or even things on Facebook that are angering and/or sad, that all this DISTURBIA has got to be left at the cross. I cannot deal with this on my own - today or any day.

I will be leaning on Jesus today - and His promises. Will you be leaning today?

At least it's CLEAN!

Woke up at my usual time this morning, actually happy that I did! After taking a nap of gargantuan proportion yesterday, I was ready to get things going. Didn't think to take pictures of the bare room before I got the furniture put into place from the kids old bedroom upstairs. But here are some shots of the "BEFORE", before yarns, fabrics, patterns, instruction books.... all enter my new guest room/creating room. I hate to say craft, and I hate to say sewing, and it's definitely not a knitting room....... but I know me well enough, it will just be called the downstairs bedroom. Now how boring is that. YOU all come up with a better name!!!

Look at that daylight window down here! It's like being upstairs and with tons of natural light.Talk about a perfect closet for stashing fabrics and yarns - and all the necessary creative STUFF!

OK, so now comes the hard part, and that's finding the perfect quilt of my mom's to put on the bed, get some extra storage pieces I've stashed in the garage down here and placed in the perfect spots, bring in some COLOR (it's SO drab right now) and get the creative party started! Think I've told myself enough times that if the space is right, and you have the right tools, then there's NOTHING that's going to stop me.

I used to have a craft room that totally rocked all craft rooms in our dream house. But you know what? God has given me a second chance at having a special room again. AND be able to have a place where company can park it if they want.

I am TRULY blessed.

It's GO Time.....

With a week full of bad sleep.... the Lord woke me up incredibly early yet again this morning. And obviously for some good reasons.

If I hadn't gotten up, I would never have seen the tremendous lightening happening in the sky, or heard the rumble of the thunder. Both things I enjoy and am always in awe of - probably because of it's size and power.

Do you ever wake up and have your first thought be thankfulness or having a deep feeling of gratitude? I'm sure many of us don't, because I know that would be me on most days. But today was different. After having a very odd day at work yesterday, many evenings at home truly enjoying my husband's company and conversation, and the pursuit of something a little more useful of my skills (which I had buried for years) - it was almost like having a revelation as to what real contentment is. And not just saying the words in hopes of convincing myself things are okay, but really feeling and believing it.

No, we haven't won the lottery. Yes, we still have lost every'thing' that society and America strive to own: a business, a house, maybe even some pride and/or dignity. But this wasn't in the bigger plan for us to keep and/or possess. The bigger plan was for us to LIVE, to LOVE, accept and help others. It's up to us now to start the last part of our life together, together. To work through even the smallest of details, together. Our daughters are grown, on their own, have their families and their own friends and social circles. Our time of being the protectors and caregivers has come to a close.

It's funny how God works sometimes. All the thoughts, happenings, emotions.... all of it this week was put in my life for a reason. After being married for 34 years, I can say that 1/2 of one year of it was spent not worrying, caring, or mothering a child. Not that I will ever NOT be a mother, but the roll has now changed. The apron strings are totally cut. On the backend of life, it's time to get back to what's been lacking, and even missing.... and that is devoting time to our marriage. We didn't even know just a few short months ago if we even liked each other because there were pressures that simply pulled us into people we didn't like. But we are still Bill and Karen. We're still the original deal. And we are grateful that we didn't give up, and have honestly and truly BEAT the statistics of divorce for couples who have lived what we've lived.

There is a bigger plan, and it is definitely Bill and Karen GO TIME! And thank you to God that He still, and always will, open doors.

Welcome!

Welcome to the new blog style and the beginning to the next chapter in our lives!

Yes, we are at last those 'empty nesters' you all hear about. It's only been 3 days since the house is completely empty.... and I was blessed enough to only spend one of them in tears in anticipation of missing the little ones. They all have been with us for 2 years, but not being around the little ones will take some major getting used to.

Couldn't sleep. Up 3 hours too early. Two loads of wash and all the ironing done (that should have been done yesterday). Journal entry. New blog design. Two cups of coffee.

Priceless? We'll see.